Trying to get back in the groove with the Below Deck recaps.
Christian and Frenchy rant and holler at each other. They sound hilarious.
Being American listening to them with those thick accents screaming at each other it’s even funnier because you don’t know what the hell they’re saying.
Blonde Lily Tomlin (Tessa) looks on, entertained by the fact they both think they’re so manly, but they’re so not.
Frenchy has his bikinis in a bind that Christian is drying something already dry.
Nathan handles that well. He nicely and calmly tells them to shut the fuck up.
Crew night out, first one I think. What could go wrong? We already have one chick that’s a petite version of Blister Mouth Solene. Apparently this is what Bravo is looking for now.
Soo Nathan and Gael aren’t ‘together’ at this point I take it since he’s talking about getting with Mini-Solene. Even though later they’re on the phone.
This dinner is already excruciating to watch and they haven’t even gotten their drinks yet.
The guys are confused and have their mouths gaping open when Kizzi says she has a “gentleman at home.”
She’s been aggressively flirty with literally all three dude deckies AND the chef.
Frenchy and Christian have a weird awkward hug during their smoke break. It seems very phony on Max’s part and I think Christian sees that.
Kizzi announces that she got three separate STD’s on her last charter.
Okay.
Is anyone really going to hook up with her after that? Yes. The answer is yes.
Pretty soon she will have mouth sores just like Solene did, which production tried to hide with makeup.
She had them in a scene, then when they came back from commercials, they were gone. Same scene.
Kizzi calls the boyfriend back home and he’s clearly concerned.
Frenchy attempts to hypnotize Christian.
The night out was actually uneventful. Which was fine. Believe me, it was fine.
Nathan tells his crew to show a sense of urgency. He makes Max his second in command, AKA the lead deckhand I guess, but hasn’t given him that title as of yet. I’m sure it’s coming.
This new guest and his entourage sounds like handful.
Sandy seems quite overly confident in Nathan’s bosun abilities.
Positive reinforcement is good – but can only do so much.
There’s an ‘outboard washing’ getting underway argument between Frenchy and Christian.
The bottom line is that Max is extremely immature and not capable of handling like an adult, the slightest bit of authority.
He has no clue how to communicate without sounding like a toddler having a tantrum. Due to this Christian doesn’t respect him as a leader, so he sort of fucks with him as Max attempts to chew him out.
I actually don’t blame him.
What happened to the truce and the hugging it out, and all that?
Frenchy doesn’t understand that in a work environment, you need to communicate in a professional way. Christian to me doesn’t seem lazy, he just needs instruction.
They continue to bicker. I have no idea what the fuck they’re saying and I have a feeling I’m not the only one.
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Guests arrive. Aesha is so extra. We get it you had this dude as a guest before, but her greeting is a little much.
She keeps referring to this guy as ‘very specific.’ He had some weird demands last time.
I don’t know if I like her black bob look.
I do not get demanding your clothes get unpacked on a destination you will be at for like 48 hours.
It definitely gives taking advantage of people. And idiotic. Like you’re going to wear bathing suits and three or four outfits. You can’t get that shit out by yourself?
Instead of stews hanging up every single thing in your suitcase that you’re not even wearing.
Also I wouldn’t want strangers going through my shit.
The guests seem a little dismissive of the chef as he puts a massive skillet of Paella in front of them that looks amazing.
They enjoy water toys and you know something is bound to go wrong. You can feel the energy.
And of course a guest starts floating away.
Tessa and Christian try to decide if it’s an actual issue.
Like is this an important guest? Is it the one paying?
Tessa feels like they’re not getting proper guidance from Nathan.
Here’s the breakdown from someone who doesn’t know shit:
Tessa and Christian are extremely inexperienced and need constant supervision and instruction.
Max is a tad more experienced and seems to know what he’s doing, (I said seems) however he’s extremely ADD and emotionally immature. He has no idea how to communicate with co-workers or give instructions in anything close to a professional manner.
Nathan is not experienced in teaching and supervising.
It’s all a recipe for disaster. Below Deck is purposely casting inexperienced bosuns for the drama effect.
Even though these are real live charters with actual paying guests (but getting a discount) and that seem kind of dangerous, but whatever. Ratings are ratings people.
I think before a bosun is assigned to a charter, they need to shadow an experienced bosun for several charters.
This shit isn’t a trial and error entry level type position. Maybe that IS how it’s done in real life.
Why do I gotta be the voice of reason here? What the fuck do I know?
Captain Creepy does lurk around a lot less now than she used to.
The guests request a truffle extravaganza.
If you don’t know what truffles are here is the ‘AI overview.’
‘Truffles are rare, earthy fungi that grow underground and are prized as a gourmet food, distinct from sweet chocolate truffles. They have a pungent aroma and savory, umami-rich flavor, often described as musky or pungent. They are expensive due to their rarity, and most often, they are shaved or grated over dishes like pasta or eggs right before serving, with the flavor and aroma being a key component.’
I’ve had truffle oil, not actual truffles, and I don’t love it. It has a weird and distinctive taste.
Frenchy starts helping himself to the truffles when one of the guest’s plate was missing them. That’s convenient.
This guest is so off. After several caviar with vodka chasers, and he’s clearly blacked out, he requests szechuan chicken right after dinner. It’s all he can think about he says.
Chef is in bed so Kizzi and Christian who clearly know not the first thing about cooking and preparing food, think this is something they can handle.
When she asks how long it takes to ‘cook chicken’ you know you’re in trouble. Like what kind of chicken, what parts, how are you cooking it? It’s not like boiling water.
Nathan tells her not to make it in the event she would give this numb nuts prima donna food poisoning. I don’t see a problem.
And he’s passed out anyway.
Sandy keeps giving Nathan these bizarre pep talks. Is she trying to convince herself he’s capable of doing this job or what?
Trying to give Christian the benefit of the doubt because I can clearly see Max is off his fucking rocker, but Sandy tells him she’s throwing water chairs down to him and he just stands there…?? And looks at it being thrown.
So he’s to be driving the jet ski but apparently it’s malfunctioning or he does not know how to work it, because he starts drifting in the current away from boat. He just sits there drifting not even calling for help.
Tessa is confused about a basic instruction of tying a rope to the nautiboys
The guests spot Christian aimlessly floating around in the waves.
So let me get this straight. First a guest floats away, and now the a deckie is.
Tessa is still looking for the ‘black line.’
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