At the end of last week, we had Lara leaving because she was sick. And coincidentally, Haleigh is healed, and on her way back. What’s weird is they did not seem to have similar illnesses. Haleigh had a stomach bug, and Lara seems a flu type thing.
I was a little suspicious that this was fabricated for a little extra drama. I thought maybe Haleigh wasn’t really sick, especially since she happened to be better at the exact moment, Lara fell ill, then I noticed how thin and pale she is, so I do believe she was puking for several days. She mentioned that she was in a hotel room. I feel really bad for the people that arrive after she was there because I really doubt the housekeepers, cleaned and sanitized that room well enough, and killed all of the icky germs.
Final preference sheet meeting and final charter. Yay, I’m so ready for this shit show to be over. Kyle just sucks all the life right out of the episodes. It’s not even that we are loving to hate him. He brings so much hatred and hostility to the boat, it’s not even entertaining.
Surprisingly, Sandy didn’t barely annoy me at all. but as a I said, and I’m saying it again, I think she was told to change her behavior after that debacle when she stepped in for Lee. Lee ended up getting ousted for speaking out, so that kind of sucks. Of course they preferred to keep Sandy, they wanted their girl captain kept around, irregardless of her abuse of the crew. That’s Bravo for you.
Funny how all of a sudden Tumi is like fucking drooling all over Lily, whom she wanted Sandy to fire because she was inexperienced. So instead of trying to elevate her and being patient, and giving her the training that she needed, she decided to tear her down, make her feel shitty, and then tattle to Sandy that she sucked.
Nice overcompensating fake excited face she makes when giving Lily accolades, I guess to make up for her shitty treatment, hoping we forget she tried to get her fired. Yeah Tumi we all forgot how five minutes ago you shitty treated both Nat and Lily. Forgot all about it. Even if Bravo or Kyle did put her up to the “this boat is a shit show” comment to Nat, she could’ve said no.
Just say no to provoking and pretending.
I didn’t get her black sheep comment at all. Lily is the furthest thing from a black sheep. You know who’s your black sheep? It’s fucking Kyle.
Was it smart for Lara, who has flu symptoms to be hugging Haleigh, when she literally just got over being sick???
Lara is bummed that she has to miss the last charter.
So we’re having some weather, and Sandy will not be able to leave the dock.
Tumi’s face when Sandy lets the crew know, tells me she knows the pressure is on, and has no clue what to do. Girl, your chief stew. You already failed at motivating and training a new stew, one of your stews left becasue you suck, so let’s see how you do with this challenge…. I’m not holding my breath.
Sandy tells her to think about activities and entertainment.
I’m not sure Tumi is up to this challenge, but we will see, she looks kind of petrified. I feel like when she gets out of her comfort zone she sucks.
You feel almost bad for the guest as they charge onto the boat.
For all that say, “oh my God, they paid all of this money to sit on the dock’ and blah blah blah. First of all I read a blurb, that it’s hard to get people for these charters to be filmed, so they are getting very good deals. I know it’s still a lot, but I’m just saying they’re getting cut rates. Also, they are surely having it explained to them, and signing on the dotted line that there is a chance of not leaving the dock due to weather, and there is no refund. I don’t feel bad for them. Sorry, not sorry.
Sandy doesn’t want to let them go on thinking that they’re leaving, so she tells them pretty quickly, and as predicted, it does not go over well.
As we know, this has happened in the past, and normally guests are disappointed, but tend to move past it and accept it, and are smart enough to realize that no matter how much pissing and moaning they do, weather cannot be controlled. These people are not accepting it, especially the one, who’s not even the primary, which means he’s not the main payor. He does not seem to want to let it go, and as soon as somebody walks past him, he starts fucking carrying on.
Sandy doesn’t sugarcoat, and even lets them know there isn’t any chance they’re going to be leaving due to the wind and the high tide.
She points out that it’s sunny, so if it were me I would put on my bathing suit and my sunscreen, and shut it.
They also have the option to walk around & explore the area. They’re in fucking Italy.
It’s all pretty self-explanatory, what the deal is, however they keep asking ridiculous questions about fucking jet skiing around the port, or setting up the water slide at the fucking dock?? Or going to another port??? Dude, no means no!!!
Tumi googles to check for any potential activities in the area.
She tries to defend herself that she’s clueless, because she doesn’t have a bag of tricks, and she’s not a magician. Well, you know you’re chief stew, so you DO need to have a bag of tricks.
This Jeff asshole literally just meanders around the boat bitching at whomever happens to walk by. He goes into the galley and literally starts harassing poor Jack, who has nothing to do with fucking anything besides making food.
He seems like a real fucking treat. He’s also very disrespectful to his wife. If you can’t do something as simple and use common fucking sense as be respectful and courteous to your fucking partner or wife, then you are a fucking troll that should just go fucking hide under a bridge and drown yourself.
Tumi is still wandering around aimlessly with her computer, with no plan.
Sandy has a bad idea of packing a cooler and taking them on a little boat ride around the dock.
Why the hell does she keep trying to make Kyle and Tumi happen? There is nothing exceptional about either one of them. They both suck ass.
Kyle does not give two fucks this season about being personable or peppy with the guests at all. They are no dream team. Stop trying to make this happen. There’s more of a chance of making ‘fetch’ happen.
******.
Shouldn’t Sandy should have known a tender trip around the dock area would be as pathetic as it was, when the scenery was basically shipping containers?? But then again, her chief stew didn’t really have any ideas either.
One person who’s not upset about being stuck at dock is Max, and I’m sure I don’t have to explain why.
Kyle fucking complains about having to walk down to the tender which is probably about 400 feet away. Dude, you can use some exercise.
The guests are not bashful about whining about their little boat ride. Especially, the chief belly-acher, who looks like he is never ever happy and lives to be miserable. He and Kyle should get along.
I thought Kyle and Tumi were supposed to be entertaining on this stupid cruise around the dock. I haven’t heard one fucking word out of Kyle.
He complains in his yap that he’s not really having a good time. I mean, Kyle we know it’s all about whether or not you are having a good time.
Tumi decides they should head to Portofino the following day for something to do. Finally she comes up with an idea.
To see Luka embracing and cuddling Jess like he is, one really would think that he’s genuine and having maybe a little bit of a connection and feelings for her, but he’s really not at all. He’s a fuck boy.
The second he’s away from her, he’s texting Katie and Nat, with these ear-to-ear shitty fucking grins. Also, he was just on WWHL, and was saying horrible things about her, how she’s not the girl he would take home to meet his mom, and he didn’t feel a connection to her at all, and Nat’s a better kisser. I was feeling so bad for Jess.
He still is insisting that he is taking her to France when the charter is over.
Jeff corners Sandy crying and moaning. You know, you would think fucking neurosurgeons would be smart enough to comprehend the whole climate/wind/ocean/tide situation?? We have jokes like, ‘oh yeah they’re not exactly neurosurgeons’ but these two are legit fucking neurosurgeons, and can’t wrap their fucking brain around this situation. You can’t make this shit up.
Off-topic and random, but I really do wish Sandy would lose these skin tight white capris. She needs to do an update of her look. She could do white cargo pants, regular pants, or long loose fitting shorts.
Sandy puts Lily in charge of organizing games, you know, Lily the one that Tumi wanted to have fired because she was too fucking lazy to train her.
Tumi’s all proud of herself for ordering these modern dancers to perform during dinner.
All of the other husbands are being so sweet and loving to their wives except for one, and his name is Jeff, and he reminds me of somebody that I know that I wish I never met.
As Jess talks to Lily about being excited to go to Cannes with Luka, he’s laying in his bed sexting with Nat. I wonder if she’s still with the open relationship guy?
Captain Asshole chastised his wife because he thinks she was looking at the guy dancer, when she’s merely watching them, like they all are. I could totally just feel for her and her frustration.
Everything you do is wrong. everything is a fucking drama. Everything is the fucking end of the world to these fucking dudes. So DRAMATIC.
Sandy gets irritated at the laundry area, and makes a comment to Kyle about how Natalya had things a lot more in order. I mean, she’s right. There’s folded laundry, like everywhere. It’s even spilling out into the crew mess which I’ve never really seen before.
Kyle, who hasn’t cried about a fucking ailment, or some fucking emotional triggering fucking issue, in like a whole entire 24 hours, is now bawling because the mention of Nat is ‘triggering’ to him.
*****
The games that Lily planned commence. I’m surprised they’re actually getting into it, even the fucking cranky one. You know the dude that fucking sucks the goddamnned life out of fucking everything.
Okay, so we gotta talk about the cereal box game, unfortunately. Primary chick had to bend over and pick up the box with their mouth, and seemed to forget her panties, and bent over with her entire fucking asshole wide-open for the world to see, and didn’t seem to notice nor care.
How would you not feel a breeze going up in there? I’m guessing the camera guy liked it. I mean it’s an asshole but they like holes. Any hole will do.
I hope she’s clean and fresh down there. Jesus.
******
Nat’s apparently just passing through Genoa. Just passing through? I guess she’s on another boat already?
Kyle cries to Tumi about Sandy’s comments about missing Nat, and her organizational skills.
Tumi babies, and agrees with him. Not really sure if she means it, or if she’s just appeasing him.
So next episode should be interesting. Apparently Nat is just going to show up on their night out. Didn’t they do the same fucking thing with that Camille chick after she got shit canned? Once they’re off the boat, they’re done, and we don’t need to see them back to rehash some fucking controversy. She tells Jack not to tell anyone.
Why does Sandy always have to walk around and fucking harass the guests if they’re having a good time or not? Woman go away, find something to do. Read a book, play with yourself, take a nap, take a swim, take something.
