LAST CHARTERRRRRRRRRRR !!
Wonder if we’re going to nix the reunion again? It’s not the end of the world but it’s just like – why? Why are we not doing them? Since Captain Creepo was Creepo on steroids that season, and they wanted to not held her accountable, now they’re just like “nope no reunion.” It’s a Bravo law! Come on guys!
They don’t even do them in person anymore (they used to) so they don’t have to fly everyone in. Suck it up Andy!
Dylan tends to ramble and pretty much sound like a complete imbecile. But he’s a good kid. Needs to know when to just shut up. Is it possible to be too cheerful??
I crack up every time they play the beach scene of Paris telling Chef to not put his ‘raw food’ in what she deemed ‘her area.’ He tells her it’s not raw food, it’s cooked, and she’s like “It is cooked but it’s still like…” Like what Paris? Cooked is, like the opposite of raw.
Pour the damned wine. Do YOUR job which a monkey could do, and let the chef do his job which a monkey could NOT do.
Was that Monica from Salt Lake City Barbie was talking to on the phone? Just a thought.
I feel like Nick is so down in the dumps since Paris and Fraser started picking at him. He seemed so confident when he arrived. And he’s not getting constant complaints about his food. Shit like ‘too much salt’ does not count.
He killed that Seven Fishes dinner his first night. The seven fishes came out one right after another seamlessly, looking gorgeous, without breaking a sweat. Nobody uttered a complaint.
Now he’s like a sweaty disheveled mess. Poor guy. He needs to stand up for himself without being douchey, which is tough for a dude to do. Maybe that’s why he’s choosing to shut up.
******
New and final guests are a girl group with the primary being newly separated, and her birthday.
Barbie tries to say she’s a really hard worker but is she?? She’s not the worst but she definitely talks herself up quite a bit. She wanted to take a break to do her makeup. Like Xandi said, it’s not about you. You’re a maid. You don’t need makeup.
I’m just happy she’s not running at the mouth about her elaborate designer purchases. She did manage to get in a comment to her friend about returning to her ‘bougee life’ in Miami. She’s for sure plugging herself to get on RHOM, and don’t tell me she’s not. You would be wrong.
Kyle and Barbie are planning on spending time in Miami when the charter is over. That’s probably when they realized the honeymoon is over. If they even made it that far. She gets mad at him again next week for jumping in the water.
You know, because they’re just SO DIFFERENT.
Kerry is bored and running around the boat looking for things to bitch about. It’s the last charter. If he’s that bored and sees something that needs done, just do it.
Why does he have to literally announce he’s putting the umbrellas down? Don’t hurt yourself dude.
Ben is getting a ‘tude about him being so micro-managey and militant.
I like Kerry for the most part but wow, like relax. Is this for the audience?
Primary bitches the scallops are salty (first of all they’re scallops.) Barbie eavesdrops and misunderstands that she says not salty enough.
I can’t even fathom not salting your food when you’re cooking. And more when you’re eating it.
Barbie oversleeps on her break. There’s always an oversleeping incident. She looks like she was out cold when Fraser woke her up. He acts like it’s the end of the world as we know it. It’s not even a busy time right now as the guests are in the water. Fraser is a dick about it because Fraser is a dick about everything. You would think someone that was so upset about getting treated so crappy by Captain Creepo last season wouldn’t also treat people crappy.
These ladies are not the rowdy bunch that I expected. They seem classy and normal like the previous group, except for the bitch that doessn’t like salt. That’s just complete craziness and I can’t defend that.
Sunny, if you want a man and not a little Pina Colada sippin’ boy you definitely don’t want Ben!
She actually thinks they could be a thing off the boat? She claims she wants a dude that cheats her respectfully?? Two weeks in, he was already disrespecting you ! What the fuck are you talking about?? Girlllllllllll.
“Treat your woman how you would want to see your dad treat your mother.”
I love that.
For real though, what IS wrong with Kerry? He’s acting cracra. Is this for reals or is this for fake? We don’t know. The guest area is messy apparently, and he makes Sunny and Dylan end their break to clean it.
Okay settle down there Captain Sandy. Except she probably wouldn’t be rude to Dylan because he’s cute.
“If I’m going to get in trouble I want to look sexy.” Not the most exciting episode, but lots of good one one-liners. And I agree.
Nobody is fighting, the guests are having fun and content, nobody’s drunk and jumping off the boat. Does he really need to be running around ranting about minor shit?
He seems so salty for no reason whatsoever.
These guests are actually too well behaved. They need to loosen the hell up. Someone needs to get drunk and stupid, and liven things up a little.
They bitch about the arugula. That’s not what I meant by liven things up. I guess that’s the best they can do.
Does this Michele woman like not go to restaurants ever? Does she not understand chefs fucking salt their fucking food? It’s called freaking seasoning!
I’m sorry I’m passionate about my salt. It’s making me salty!!
They go to bed right after dinner. At 10:30. I thought ths newly single primary broad was celebrating ! Where’s the man bashing? Where’s the dancing? Where’s the fucking celebrating?? Why do I gotta tell everyone everything?
Yawn.
Let’s bitch about salt and arugula and go to bed. Wow. Sounds exhausting.
Boring much??
******
Now Kerry wants to do cabin inspections?? When they’re all like leaving the boat in a few days? All of a sudden he wants to go bounce a quarter off of everyone’s fucking bed??
Don’t you think at that point when you know you’re going to be packing soon, you would tend to not worry about your cabin being super neat and everything put away? And shouldn’t they be more worried about catering to the guests than catering to the Captain’s ego? This has to be some kind of fucking joke.
Kyle is spending an entire week in Miami with Barbie. I have some questions. Is he meeting Daddy? Will DADDY approve of this commoner?? Will Daddy allow her to date him and have sex with him??
Because you know that’s perfectly normal for Daddy to tell an adult daughter she’s not allowed to have a boyfriend. It’s normal. Honest. Not to worry about those dynamics. LOL.
Ben refuses to abide by the ‘clean your cabins’ order.
I don’t know what Paris’ deal is with Nick? Does she like him or something and is afraid to admit it? Women don’t usually treat dudes shitty that they’re into. Men do that shit with women since they don’t mature past the age of ten.
You know like tell your girlfriend, who looking back, wasn’t really even your girlfriend, you were just lying and pretending, that you hate her. For no reason. No reason whatsoever. Just because your mentality and common every day manners and decorum never progressed past childhood. Treat your lady like you would want your mom to be treated, ASS.
Back to this, literally all Nick did was look for something to cover the food with so it wasn’t sitting open on the beach. She starts calling him disorganized, making fun of his age, and calling him useless. I don’t know what being 40 has to do with asking for foil. He literally nicely asked and when there wasn’t foil he improvised and put a pan over the food?? Like a 40 year old should. There was no meltdown. There was no tantrum. Someone should take notes.
What is wrong with this girl? Why is she so tense when it comes to him? He’s done nothing to her and has been tolerating her bitchiness. She has to be into him.
The guests seem pretty happy with the food, for a chef that is ‘useless.’
Maybe Paris is the one that’s useless?
There’s crème brulee drama when primary asks for the one that one of the ladies didn’t want and Paris has eaten it.
How in the hell would you eat two crème brulees?? It turns out fine since these ladies are super chill. Also super boring, but super chill.
******
It’s time for these stupid cabin checks. Ben who shares with Kyle encouraged him to also blow off tidying the cabin.
If you ask me, it’s inappropriate for him to be in the girls’ cabins.
Long story short, Kerry is pissed and bitches at Ben and Kyle for not taking him seriously and disrespecting him.
This seems like a little bit of an abuse of power to me.
