Below Deck 1/23/23

Watching last week’s recap, I wanted to point out that when Katie says, in jest I know, but still, “good thing my boss has a crush on me.” No he doesn’t. You have a crush on him. You are what is currently on the menu for the time being. I hope she doesn’t give up the goodies for him, but she probably will.

So we get the replay of Captain stating, “I’m letting you go this morning.” Then the look of utter shock on her face. I mean really.

is this about the drinking yesterday?? Oh my God I’m human!!

So here’s where Sandy went wrong. When she sort of passes the buck to the ‘department heads.’ She’s the fucking Captain! She doesn’t need to blame someone to get the ickiness off of herself of having to shit can a shitty employee. She was witnessing herself, what a problem she was. Just that whole thing alone, where Camille decided she needed to take a break in the middle of a task, and said on the radio “Captain Sandy sent me on a 30 minute break.” She certainly did no such thing. She assumed she was already on a break, because she was loafing in the bridge. She said something like “get some rest” to fucking get rid of her. This chick is in her own fucking world.

When she blamed the department heads, it reminded me of what you do with little kids to get them to listen. Like if you’re at a public pool, you say, “the lifeguard will blow the whistle or yell at you if you…” whatever, jump in where you’re not supposed to. It’s been a while since I’ve been at a public pool with little kids.

By doing that, you’re sort of passing the discipline buck so they listen. Kids are more likely to listen to a stranger than their parents for whatever reason. So anyway, my point, here’s Captain Sandy doing the same fucking shit pretty much, by blaming Fraser, Rachel and Ross for having to fire her. (I do kind of get why she would talk to her like she’s a four year old though.)

But all kidding aside, as Captain of the fucking boat, she should have said “I don’t think you’re pulling your weight, and YOU clearly have a problem with authority.” And authority is kind of a thing around here,’ Instead of “oh the mean old department heads made me do it.” Like whatta fuck Sandy?

Man up !!

It’s pretty obvi Sandy developed a crush on this girl. We all know she had a crush on Malia. She definitely has a type.

Sandy talks about how she kept giving her chances, and she kept fucking up. And they flash to those. Well then why Sandy at your cozy little talk over snacks on last week’s ep, did ya sit there and tell her she proved herself and was doing a stellar job, and Alissa is to blame? Why?

I wanna ask that at the reunion! I gotta be better at being on top of Andy posting that he’s taking reunion questions.

She storms out of the bridge and calls it a debauchery. How many people literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD at that?? Seems like a big word for her.

So reason #15 of why it was a bad idea for Sandy to deflect to the ‘department heads.’ Now Camille, because she’s Camille, sashays to everyone to bitch at them and fault them for her firing. Her first stop is Rachel.

And this interaction is nothing less than hysterical. Camille asks for specifics in what her problem was with her. Rachel has no issue in telling her well, not completing tasks and drinking on the job, and being combative when drinking. Combative when drinking? Girl. This bitch doesn’t need to be chugging wine to be combative. How about arguing every time she was asked to do anything. Intoxicated or not.

No time for silly little children, be GONE!!

Sandy could have also brought this up in their little dismissal meeting. “I understand you were drinking all day yesterday during work hours. That’s kind of a no-no anyway, and you were already on thin ice.” But no, let’s blame the ‘department heads.’ There was literally a multitude of reasons she could have been given.

Rachel: “okay, on to the next department head please” when Camille even attempts to say something in her defense. She gots nothin! She flounders, and, “oh really is that right?” is all that she can come up with. I mean come on, girl. Your fans are disappointed and expected better. (because you do somehow have them) When you’re as lippy and sarcastic as Camille, and you can’t come up with one goddamned thing in your defense, it’s because you have none.

Did she think for one fucking second she was going to match wits with fucking Rachel??

And off she goes to bitch at someone else after Rachel dismisses her. Maybe she can come up with something better than ‘Oh really?’ next time.

But sure, let’s go find Ross. I’m game. Ross, who really tried to just shut up and deal with her, because she’s pretty. Did he ever even issue a formal complaint against her? Or even went to the captain about how she was not even needed on deck and was more trouble than help? I think he bitched to Fraser that day she demanded he let her goof off on deck because she was sick of stewing. But that blew over when she fake apologized to him, and pretended she was sorry or cared. Fraser did nothing.

She stumbles upon Fras first, and she delivers the news. Fraser has to act surprised when he actually made the final decision, finally. He gives her a sort of hug and says he’s sorry. What else do you say. Fraser’s not going to be an asshole, even if she gets all pissy and uncivil, as she normally is.

He asks her to talk and she tells her that didn’t really want this to happen. I believe him. My God, the kid tried everything to avoid having to address her shitty behavior with her. He tells her he doesn’t feel like her heart is in it. “My heart is so in it.” Again being coddled.

Actually, you’re right, what I mean to say is that you’re fucking lazy and incompetent.

Okay girl, read the fucking room. Do you understand he’s British and not an asshole, and trying really, really hard to be fucking polite? That was a nice way of saying you suck.

Did she already forget about (well she may have since she was drunk) the previous fucking day when he showed her pictures of like six things that she did not do when she was partying with the deck crew??

So even if your heart IS in it, you STILL suck!! That’s even worse. There, wish he would’ve said that!

This very productive convo ends with “I hope you get a super star stew to step in my position. I have some other good-byes to give to the people who actually like me.” I guess that was a little better than, ‘Oh really?’

Okay so that would be the dude you’re fucking, the girl you share a cabin with who doesn’t have to deal with your dumb shit, and Tony who literally, loves everyone and anyone.

She perches herself on the railing (too bad she didn’t have a little whoopsie here – just kidding) and repeats Sandy’s excuse that she was fed, and is certainly running with, and scolds Ross for her firing.

This girl, as problematic as she is, should not have been allowed to do this. Her dismissal should have been similar to a corporate setting when someone gets the ax. She should have been supervised as she packed her shit and escorted off of the boat. This is ridiculous.

She demands to hear Ross’s complaints too, and he is not having this. Sandy is an asshole for doing this. This is what you get when you have a Captain that has a crush on one of the stews or deckhands, as she does with Camille. This was also a problem with Captian Lee and Kate Chastain.

This is so very fucking unprofessional. Ross never even complained about her, really. Alissa did, and Rachel did. Both were justified. She had better NOT be allowed to address Alissa. Alissa doesn’t need anymore of her shit.

So many on social media are blaming Alissa for her getting fired, and I just can’t get ‘on board’ with that. Did Alissa handle her perfectly at all times? No, she did not. Should Alissa have been the one to deal with Camille 100% of the time? No she should not. Should Fraser have taken over her supervision after both Alissa and Rachel addressed problems with him? Yes, he should have. (I feel like one of the Salt Lake City Housewives) Alissa didn’t have any vendetta against her. She just wanted her to do her fucking job correctly without being asked ten times, and not move at a snail’s pace. This certainly is not Alissa’s fault in any way whatsoever. She didn’t ‘sign up’ for a supervisory position as Fraser did. This is also why I’m against the 2nd and 3rd stew thing. If you guys have to make this someone’s fault, besides Camille, who is responsible for her own behavior, blame Fraser for not whipping her ass into shape from Day 1.

Anywho, Ross walks away from this demon chick. He’s not having this either, Hayley comforts Fraser who still seems distraught. It’s super annoying how he keeps saying that he liked her. First of all there is nothing likable about this chick. He’s even gay, so it’s not Like he’s into her or finds her attractive. She has pretty eyes, but I don’t even think she’s that pretty. Sorry.

I’m really worried I broke this girl for good!

And how would he even know? Think about it. How much did he even interact with her? He spent almost zero time with her. He literally let Alissa supervise and deal with her 99.9% of the time?? It seems so fake.

In his yap he feels so bad “for being responsible for breaking someone’s spirit.” Does he think he ‘broke her spirit?’ You do not ‘break’ a narcissist’s spirit. It’s literally not possible. With so much awareness brought to this personality disorder/illness now, I don’t get people that don’t recognize it and still don’t seem to get it. Especially since we have this new internet thing that explains shit you don’t understand, by pushing a couple buttons.

Okay so back to this, she literally waltzed around this fucking ship and blamed everyone else! That’s what they do! Everything bad that happens to them is ALWAYS someone else’s fault! She could get shit canned at twenty more jobs over the course of her life, and each time, it will be someone else’s fault. Guaranteed. Why is Fraser wasting his empathetic energy on this chick? He needs to read up on narcissism if he’s going to keep Chief Stewing. Because this girl is not going to be the last soul-sucking idiot that he has to deal with.

Ben has abandoned his job to console Camille in her cabin as she packs her shit. Looks like she threw a bunch of towels and shit in the fucking hallway? Sandy sees this and says nothing to her, and calls Katie to come and help her because she needs her to get the fuck off the boat. Well Sandy, you put this blame game shit in her head, so she literally has been busy blaming and bitching at everyone instead of packing. Maybe Sandy should help her pack.

And also tell her how wonderful and hot she is while she’s doing it, and how Rachel, Ross (Rachel and Ross hee-hee get it) and Fraser are the ones that made her do it!

So here we are in St Lucia and she has on this white fur coat thing as she’s packing. She even admires her ‘exit look.’ She demands to see Ben.

Tony is glad he doesn’t have to listen to them fucking anymore.

In her yap, she insists she’s proud of her work, and she’s walking off of this yacht like she really believes this.

She does a double flip off. Yeah, she doesn’t have an attitude right? She has tons of self awareness. Fraser, dude, how dare you break this girl’s spirit!!

Yeah Fras, she really looks broken down to me!

Fraser tells the two remaining ladies: “we can be stronger, and we can be working harder.” He sounds like the six million dollar man intro right now.

He goes on to say, “without any toxicity.” Fraser, you can’t say how much you like and adored her one second, and then next second call her toxic. It’s coming off as fake and insincere. And strange. She IS toxic. She had half the boat at each other’s throats. Your third stew walked around this yacht like she owned the joint. Ross, Rachel, and Alissa were addressing legit issues with you. You chose to put your head in the St. Lucia sand. And poor Alissa had to pick up the slack for shit she wasn’t following through with, because she doesn’t like to be told what to do. But hey, that’s nitpicking right?

Anywho, I feel like this is going on too long. I managed to dedicate five pages to this child. Did you guys see in previews, Bravo brings her back, I guess just to meet for dinner so she can see Ben, is how they’re playing it. And Ben seems to have a thing goin with the new stew already that he used to date.

But you know the drill, her antics brought the ratings so, we still need to deal with her. From social media posts and chats I’ve been seeing, and involved in, a lot of you really do seem to think Alissa was the problem, and not Camille. Which I don’t get that rationale when Ross and Rachel also complained about her. Sandy also noticed issues before she developed a crush on her. So Alissa haters/Camille supporters, you ACTUALLY think all of these people were wrong, and just had it in for the girl? No. Is it Alissa’s fault she decided to drink all fucking day on her last day and not do her work? It makes no sense. I don’t want to trun this into a race thing, but it certainly feels like it,

I swear these people that support her and blame Alissa, if they’re not racist, must have never had a job in their lifetime. At least not in a teamwork environment. Did you all marry well right out of school and never had to work or what? It is frustrating when you’re picking up the slack for an entitled spoiled fucking brat that no one says anything to. Duh.

Sandy calls Lee to fill him in. Speaking of social media, I saw that Lee and Camille got into a little kerfluffle on Twitter, when Lee posted something about her shitty work ethic. She defended herself by saying she’s 24! Okay, so exactly, you’re 24, you’re personality and work ethic ain’t changin! I also saw on a FB chat page that Lee dissed Sandy, and her handling of the situation. Probably similar to what I’ve been saying that she did wrong, if I know Captain Lee. He ain’t got time for this childish fucking nonsense.

For chrissakes, Ben is legit fucking crying over Camille’s departure. He knew this girl for what, three fucking weeks? I seriously want to get through the rest of this recap without writing ‘Camille’ again. Maybe I’ll give her a new name, if I absolutely have to say something else. How about c***???

Awwwww Bro, I feel your pain, you’re not going to have your cum catcher anymore

Tony is so sweet. He has a killer fucking body. Why is nobody going for him?

He talks in his yap about how “it was all just taken away.” Oh my God, okay. I wonder if he’s watching this all play out, seeing how she treats people, and realizing she’s not someone that he would have wanted to have a real relationship with anyway. It’s the typical boatmance thing so we know how that goes. Not very far.

Ben still abandoning his duties to sniffle and pout by the railing. Jesus Christ, this kid. Come ON. He’s making this too easy for me. What a fucking pussy. Ross tries to comfort Susie while nicely telling him to get his ass to work. To say that he’s taking this a little too far, would be an understatement. He’s just not getting laid anymore. Maybe that’s really why he’s sad. That’s pretty much how dudes’ brains work. Pretty sure that’s why my ex keeps hitting me up every time he gets into a fight with the ugly hag he has now. Which is often, because he’s impossible to please.

Dude, let me get you a pina colada and a tampon.

Ben blames Alissa in his yap for “putting her down.” Ben, dude, she also went to her chief stew and her Captain about her. Everyone chose to ignore her or coddle her. Alissa didn’t handle every situation the best, but she did ask for back up. And was ignored. Sandy sort of tried, then decided to turn a blind eye.

You’re on my bad books for the rest of eternity.” For the love God. What a dipshit.

Did he seriously practically throw on her three large packs of water bottles that were probably too heavy for her, (boys are stronger than girls, it’s a fact) with his fucking lip out, just to be an extra big piece of shit ? Oh yes he did! Wow dude. Just wow. She almost fell backwards. This is probably why she got so upset later. And so many viewers are siding with you know who! It’s ridiculous!!

Whomever condones doing what he just did needs to reevaluate their life. You don’t think that reaction was worth Alissa feeling upset and degraded? Get help if you don’t. He could have inflicted physical harm on her by doing this. I’m sure she was not prepared for him to throw almost 50 pounds on her and walk away. I did the math on that. They look like 12 packs, I looked up the approximate weight of of a 12 pack of 16 oz water bottles, which is 15 lbs. Multiply that by 3, and it’s 45 pounds.

So this dude because he’s in pouty lip puckered out, blame someone mode else, thrust almost 50 fucking pounds on a girl, and walked away. That’s inexcusable. If you are a man and condoned this fuck you, if you are a woman and condoned this fuck you. If you’re not sure what you are today, and condone this, fuck you. That was fucking aggressive, toxic masculinity and inexcusable. And I use masculinity loosely for this douche. Remember this is the boy that orderd a fucking pina colada on their first night out.

There, this’ll show YA !!
I’m a big boy NOW !! Let me go change my Pull-UP !

Okay douchey boy, You’re on MY ‘bad books’ for the rest of eternity. Whatever the fuck that means. If you’re so devastated about her departure, then after this charter, haul your dumb sissy pussy ass to Mississippi and see how that all pans out for ya.

And why is Sandy requesting a deck/stew? I guess so we can have the same problem again. Ross even said he doesn’t need a fourth person??

So Hayley’s ankles are all swollen. This doesn’t surprise and you would think it would happen more often since they’re on their feet so much, with no support. Remember when that Caroline chick had the same issue several seasons back? With EvilKate as her chief stew? She was third stew, the one that Kate always bullied around and fucked with, just for fun. (come on, you know she did!) Kate accused her of faking, and then proceeded to treat her even worse since she had a medical condition and was limited in her duties.

I had to explain to Sandy what a cankle is!

For the love of all that is holy, now Ben is slobbering all over Sandy over brat’s firing. Or maybe they’re consoling each other. Sandy is probably like, “I know, I’ll miss her too.” Maybe he’d like to explain why he threw 50 lbs of water bottles onto a girl during his stupid little pout fest tantrum.

Sandy calls a meeting and lets them know she is looking for her replacement. Gibberish about pulling it together, they have a charter and blah blah blah. So fucking dramatic, when Camille did very little besides cause arguments. Did she really contribute to the day-to-day? No, she didn’t. She was helpful here and there. Crap, trying not to say her name anymore.

Ross in his yap, ridicules Ben’s theatrics over this, pointing out he’s known her for 2 or 3 weeks.

Okay the guests arrive. I still can’t fathom it’s a good idea to take one of these cruises in your second, almost third trimester of pregnancy. Like legit, what would they do if she went into pre-term labor. It does happen.

Alissa is picking up on the vibe that stupid ass Ben blames her, probably because he threw 36 water bottles on her tits, and calls her mom for some moral support.

The deck crew is organizing the toys. I really don’t see how they need a fourth deckhand, at all.

Alissa confides in Hayley over her stress about the firing, and how it’s affecting her psyche because she can feel the tension with Ben. Because she felt 50 lbs of water bottles being thrown on her. And I don’t care how many times I say it. I’m going to keep saying it.

People like Camille really do have a way of getting inside your head and making you feel crazy. Why? It’s what they do, and they know what they’re doing.

She thinks everyone is talking about her and mad about Camille, (shit!) it’s honestly just Ben, who was fucking her. Literally no one else cares!! It’s time for this chick’s 15 minutes to be UP!!

Ben just tried to kill me so now I’m feeling kind of insecure

I wish Hayley would have consoled her there, but maybe she did and they didn’t show it. Even though she did try to be neutral and not get involved, she surely had to see her being a problem.

Rachel is having to handle an ‘around the world’ multi course tasting menu. She ridicules that concept in her yap as people trying too hard to sound bougie and worldly. Yeah I kind of see that.

The worldly dinner is getting underway. The weird quirky chick spills her soup pouring it from the whatever the hell (sorry I guess I’m not worldly) into the bowl. She is apologetic, and Sandy tells her the staff should have poured it for her. Sandy can be such a dick sometimes.

Why doesn’t Douche Bag Ben try crying to Rachel about you know who? And see how far he gets with that? Everyone blaming Alissa forgets Rachel also complained about her, and rightfully so, several times. Especially now when she’s stressed, and in the middle of this stupid worldly dinner? Rachel would rip his head off and shit down his neck.

The guests bitch that the Ceviche is too spicy. Sandy promptly leaves to go bitch about it. Poor Rachel. Those morons on last charter were bitching their grub wasn’t spicy enough.

It’s nice that Ben has stopped blubbering long enough to help Rachel in the kitchen.

Dinner is moving slowly again. Rachel is delivering stellar plates, but seems to be lagging in getting the courses out. There is awkward convo between the guests and Sandy as they’re waiting for food.

Sandy leaves to “check what’s taking so long.” Which is a terrible thing to say to the guests about her people. She then proceeds to bitch in her yap about this multi course tasting menu thing, being the cause of the delay, and Rachel shouldn’t do them, when THE GUESTS REQUESTED IT. There’s no such thing as no, remember? Everyone is so fucking ‘off’ on this boat, for whatever reason, and it’s getting really weird. I think I did see a full moon.

Speaking of everyone being off and weird, another yacht radios into our yacht, and gets Ben on the horn, bitching about the distance between the boats, and wants Sandy to move her boat.

Ben has to get Sandy up of course for this shit. This other Captain dude who you can immediately tell is a fucking twat, (think he and Ben would get along great!) tells Sandy the wind was whatever knots the previous night, and it’s not safe for her to be so close. Sandy doesn’t seem concerned and lets him know there is someone on watch should a wind situation arise.

Captain Twat: “That’s an interesting response, very disappointing. I’m surprised you’re comfortable with that.”

What a passive aggressive little fuck. Probably has a two inch dick. Who cares what Ben thinks, but in his yap he agrees with Sandy that this is a non-issue. She goes on tell him if he’s so nervous, and she’s not, then maybe he should move. Is this his first day?

He comes back with, he has guests aboard and they’re enjoying their time. Why the fuck does he think this boat is parked in the water? Also has guests aboard who are “enjoying their time.” Well they’re sleeping, but still. And what does it harm the guests for the boat to move?? It is a movable yacht? It somehow got to where it’s parked, with guests aboard. Who in the FUCK is this dude. There’s no fucking wind. There was wind last night, but tonight no wind. Is he not capable of reading a weather forecast? He insists she needs to move, and Sandy reiterates she’s not moving. This dude just wanted to wave his two inch dick around. The wind knots did not increase over 5 all night. I really really hope this Dbag felt stupid. He was probably literally up all fucking night praying for wind so he could be right. What a fucktard.

Interesting little tid bit Ross shares in his yap. He was in a four year relationship with Elizabeth of Below Deck infamy a few years ago. I believe she got let go towards the end of that season, (2020) then the last few rounds of guests canceled anyway, since they were scared into thinking they needed to cancel because everyone was dying of covid. I recall her not being a terrible person. She wasn’t like Camille (fuck!) or anything, but she was really, really scattered, and a terrible stew. And banged her boat BF in the guest cabin one night and the chief stew went nuts. That was a different chief stew, not Hannah or Kate. I forget her name.

Now the guest is bitching over his scrambled eggs that last night “the soup should have been poured for us.” Thanks Sandy for putting that dumb shit in this loser’s head.

What must it be like to live your life so entitled and bitchy? I don’t know. In my next life I want to come back as a 6’5” arrogant entitled dude. I want to be able to reach everything. And bitch about everything.

Sandy summons Rachel to the bridge. Is she seriously going to complain to Rachel? You can tell she kind of has this weird aura about her as they make a minute of small talk.

The timing of the food …” Rachel reminds her it was eight courses.

Don’t do those anymore.” Sandy, woman, it was requested. WTF?? She then complains about the communication between the stews and Rachel. Then the convo is still happening, with Sandy giving advice about something she knows next to nothing about, and she turns her back on Rachel. This was getting complained about on Twitter. It comes off as disrespectful. And can I just point out how the other chick, you know who, when getting confronted with an issue by Sandy, took place in the crew mess while having a lttle snack. But Rachel, immensely talented and mature, gets this curt bitchy reprimand?? You can tell she’s making her feel like shit. Sorry, Sandy, she’s not skinny and blonde enough for ya??

Maybe if you bleach your hair and lose 20 lbs I can turn around and look at you.

Rachel seems to be receiving this, but of course isn’t happy about it. Especially when she then turns to her and says “They weren’t happy, I’m gonna tell you right now.” This is not how you talk to a chef of Rachel’s caliber. Sandy what the literal fuck? Is someone getting a little too big for her britches?? A little Bravo fame gone to her head perhaps? Also three courses from three different countries, as she suggests, appetizer, dinner and dessert does not constitute a ‘tasting menu.’ Nor is it ‘multi-course. Woman, stay in your lane. Not sure why Rachel isn’t saying this.

Aren’t there normally only three stews?? The CS, and two others? This super annoying overly entitled dude who is too important to pour his soup into his bowl, notices that they’re short one. Was he told by a producer to say that? Fraser should be more than capable of handling waiting on these people for their morning beverages. This should not take six people.

So another annoying beach picnic on these sketchy St. Lucia beaches. Hopefully these guests were forewarned the beaches are not super stellar.

Well here we go for occurrence #1 of the pregnant chick whining and acting like she’s going to pass out if she doesn’t get food now! The smart thing would have been to ask for something small to take with her for a snack until lunch was served. Surely they would know, it’s going to take a few minutes to get from the yacht to the beach. But then we wouldn’t have this fun would we?

Fraser radios that they’re bitching, and the food needs to get there asap. Sandy hears this of course and grumbles and scoffs. She goes to the galley to help, and Rachel does not look organized or focused at all.

I don’t know Sandy maybe this is because of your unnecessarily telling her the guests weren’t happy, and she was doing a shitty job, and now she got all freaked out. I agree she needs to be a little faster between courses, but to call her up there, turn your back to her, and make her feel like shit, wasn’t the route to take.

This does not seem like Rachel right now. It looks like she’s even still prepping food.

Sandy is a dick, so over her this season. When is Lee coming back and I can’t believe I’m saying that.

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