The Salty Salt Lake Girlies take off on their little day cruise with Mrs Roper still all cranked up.
She insists that the head pour was to “lighten the mood.” Okay girl, let’s file that under ‘Things Passive Aggressive People Say.’ That is such a classic go-to excuse that passive aggressive offenders say when justifying their actions. “I was only kidding” is the first line in their playbook when they say or do offensive things to people to purposely hurt or embarrass them.
Heather is being such an ass kissing weirdo this season. Has she lost all of her dignity or what?? I’m usually a Heather Gay fan, but she is really beginning to lose me. She is seriously defending Jen here as Mrs Roper has this smug fucking look on her face, like ‘yeah you better agree with me bitch.’
Heather:“Omg Angie was taking over the whole trip, and wasn’t even acknowledging you and I saw it. Lisa took up for her immediately and didn’t even hesitate…” OH MY GOD, alert the media!!
Okay Heather, great idea to stoke this fucking fire. She saw how irrational she was already acting when they boarded this vessel, now we have this ignorant clown out in the water, where no one will be able to get away from her, and you seriously wanna get her going again??
Again Angie knows the fucking house, Mrs Roper does not!! That’s what a NORMAL fucking friend in non Housewife world would say to her, or how about just ‘GROW UP!!’ or how about, you’re about to go to prison, and this is really what you’re worried about right now? Who is giving the house tour??
No one will say this to her.
Meredith s sitting here in the middle of this, just sort of looking down saying nothing. Seems like she knows this is fucking gibberish, and just doesn’t want to engage, and risk sounding like an idiot like the rest of them. I can respect that.
Other Angie bitches to Whitney, Lisa and Danna about feeling taken advantage of by Jen. She was hoping Jen would offer to reimburse her some of what she spent on Sharieff’s party, but hasn’t. Also complains, in her yap, about her being toxic and not getting why these other ladies are choosing to keep defending her. We don’t know, Other Angie, it’s the $64,000 question!!
Meredith finally speaks up, and refers to herself as this ‘CEO of fun’ which she is NOT, she’s the CEO of boring, and suggests they join the others. Whitney needs some attention and does a twerking headstand.
Now Mrs. Roper confronts Lisa with her stupid pointy ass finger nail pointing in Lisa’s face bitching at her for ‘siding with Angie’ when she poured the champagne over her head.
Typical fucking thug Jen – all fucking aggressive putting her finger in your face screaming at people, who dare disagree with her, goes off on Lisa. Lisa sits here, and takes it, and tries to reel her in, and puts her arms around her, and it looks like trying to calm down a child. What is wrong with this woman?? well both of them actually, they’re both insane.
Lisa keeps begging her to listen to her, as Mrs Roper then chucks the ‘charcuterie board’ (actually it’s a grocery store raw veggie tray, so no one’s missing much) into the water.
Lisa keeps following her around, Jen just keeps getting more and more agitated and keeps repeating “I had your back I had your back!!!”
Heather starts babying her. Whitney joins this shit show. Mrs. Roper plays her typical pity card “I’m going through enough…”
Oh my God, this is a guilty fucking criminal that has been running a shady ass sham company whose main objective was to swindle people out of money for providing nothing. But we are to feel sorry for her, why?
Meredith was a part of this other convo with Whitney, Angie and the others, and decides to leave because it’s you know, Whitney talking.
So she now decides to go mingle with crazy Mrs. Roper and Heather. Think she was better off with the other team listening to Whitney’s lecture. Crazy Mrs. Roper is still on her yelling and throwing shit tangent. And now throws Angie’s fucking shoes in the water.
Angie is alerted that her shoes are overboard, and Jen is claiming innocence. Sounds like her. Did that all just happen?? We need this ho’s dumb ass in prison asap!!!
Danna points out Heather’s conflicting stories and attitude towards Jen, when she’s with her verses when she’s not. Danna, welcome to Housewives.
Jen passes out in the van for two hours. It was so nice and quiet when she was out cold, wasn’t it?
Well unfortunately, she has come to life and is all Hawaiian luaued up.
Angie delivers some snappy snark in her yap, and says the entertainment will probably not be getting paid.
So we’re having dinner, which means we’ll soon be fighting. But maybe the arrival of ‘The Fun Police’ will put it off for a few more minutes.
Heather says that she thought the feds were strippers when Jen was arrested last year. There is awkwardness, with the Fun Police, when everyone is basically ignoring them, until of course you- know-who is happy to oblige in a lap dance. she announces it’s because, she’s “married with two kids.”
She’s also happy to oblige flashing her coochie to the dude, because you know, she’s married with two kids. Isn’t it so confusing why Justin’s employer was embarrassed by her behavior? And Justin is okay with this I guess?? Maybe they’re into that, like Mia and G on Potomac.
Danna is following instructions, and does the housewife dinner thing, and gets the argument going since it just hasn’t started yet. The strippers distracted them I guess. Well good they did their job.
They’re probably not getting paid either.
She wants to know why Jen walks around screaming and cursing at everyone constantly. She spills the beans on what Heather shared with her, (in confidence) that if Jen gave her an ultimatum between Angie H and Jen, she wouldn’t be friends with her anymore. (or no more)
So apparently Angie H is not willing to publicly apologize for this Shah account. Yes, we’re back to that. Jen is starting to scream at Heather, when she is actually sticking up for her. She’s such a fucking spaz. Wow. Shut the fuck up and listen.
Heather and Other Angie bicker. Oh my God are we doing this again this season?? Everyone sitting here arguing in front of Jen, as to who is the better friend to her?
Lisa recaps a convo, that I guess wasn’t aired, of hot tubbing, and Jen bitching about Heather.
Jen doesn’t remember attacking Lisa on the boat. But in her defense, that is when she was channeling Mrs. Roper, so it’s understandable. We don’t know if she’s pretending to not remember, or if she really doesn’t. She didn’t seem to be drunk, she was acting like herself.
As Lisa is bitching at her for the way she was being towards her on the boat, Jen decides it’s FINALLY time to apologize to Angie. But not apologizing to Lisa for her aggressiveness towards her earlier.
Why is Heather wearing sunglasses right now? Jen continues to yell and scream about Angie H and the Insta account and, yelling “how can you be friends with her?” Heather points out that she apologized.
‘Ride or die’ keeps getting repeated, and it’s superrrr annoying. Jen points out Angie K is her only friend at the table, who’s she’s basically been shitting all over since they arrived.
Heather tries to reason with Jen and that does not go well. Please let this be over. Oh it is, great.
Everything about this episode was insufferable.
