Refreshing on last week, and the bus ride where a fight, much like hockey games, of course broke out (the Housewives LOVE the bus squabbles) and Heather DuBratt “I have children what is wrong with you?” Like how is that related AT ALL to the discussion at hand ? They all have kids. Why doesn’t Shannon or Noella turn that shit around on her when she starts that sheer nonsense. Last week, also, when she was further gas lighting Shannon after the dinner table gas lighting session, when she was just so fucking baffled why Shannon wasn’t coming to her defense, she said to Shannon “what if someone told me that YOU were a racist pig..” and I didn’t defend you???
Shannon should’ve been like – “HEATHER !!! I HAVE CHILDREN!!!!”
I see she was trying to make a dreaded “analogy” (Jersey viewers will get this) but of all things to pull out your ass, and say to make a point, “a RACIST PIG…” Who IN THE FUCK, says THAT as an example? A racist pig?? Pig?? I don’t know but this one more resembles a ‘pig’ to me. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s a closet racist.
Shannon may have some issues, and quirks (as we all do) but she doesn’t really strike me as racist. And to use the word PIG?? – wow Heather – thought you were so fucking ‘refined’?? How about you’re a fucking pig ???
But back to my point, if someone would have said that to HER, she would BLOWN HER FUCKING STACK!!
Can you just hear it now ?? She would have for sure bellowed the “I have children and a great life!!” stupid go-to, stormed out, ordered filming to stop, threatened to quit the show. It would have been a whole big fucking thing, I promise you. But what did Shannon do, calmly expressed her displeasure in that comparison. Not to mention, she seriously expected Shannon to defend her after the way she’s been treating her? This woman’s audacity and self love knows NO limits! My God!
And this deflection she does often during a confrontation of “I have a great life!”
Wait, didn’t she say in her yap a few weeks ago, when picking on Shannon, that happy people don’t walk around and say “I’m really happy!” Hmmmmmm – DuBratt – hypocrite much ?? Oh and by the way, your fucking pussy husband is gay, so unless you’re okay with being married to a man that wants to bang another man, (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and not you, I would shut up with how “great” your life is. Also no one cares. No one CARES. I hope you have some vibrators.
Okay so snap out it Renee !! Back to this week’s episode . In my defense, I was so annoyed last week with it, I didn’t even do a recap.
Noella to Heather: “Would you be receptive to a convo with me?” She says “no not now” then, “okay yes let’s do it.”
After Noella delivers this unnecessary apology, and seems to take Shannon’s advice, and apologizes to this freak about ‘hurting her fucking family.’ Not sure why she’s giving this rhetoric the time of day. I think is trying to just smooth things over and take the high road for a minute. Ya know HEATHER’S family is the only one that matters, not these insignificant pathetic peasants’ families, who ARE not married to a gay tittie doctor who makes millions.
DuBratt is silent for what seems like forever, and you can literally almost see the wheels turning, and how she is trying to think of the exact passive aggressive type words to use, so she can spin this to be all about her and her wonderful life, and make Noella feel insignificant and stupid.
Okay here we go – “it’s not how I FEEEEEEEELAAAA, it’s what you said.” So she goes into fake sympathy for Noella’s sitch of her husband suddenly waking up one day and saying ‘sayonaro bitch – I’m outta here!” And then here she goes – (see the mind fuckery?? started out sounding sweet and empathetic) MY family and MY life are more import—-ANT to me than what YOU’RE going through…”
Again your gay husband and your fucking kids, irrelevant to this conversation. Noella asking about your behavior that night when you had your fake tantrum about Nicole’s law suit, is NOT affecting Terry or you stupid kids whatsoever!!!
I got shit from some Heather asshole licker last week for a post I made regarding this. I got told she doesn’t say this, and they were so confused, and said I wasn’t making sense. People should pay more attention. Like her if you really want to, if you have an affinity for bad acting, and bullying I guess, you do you, but don’t tell me that she doesn’t say this shit all the time. She did it when she was on 10 years ago too.
So that sort of hurts Noella’s feelings. Understandably so, since she started off sounding like she cared, and was going to be receptive to the apology. (truth be told I forget what they were arguing about, I need to watch more of last week)
She loves that “hurts my family” narrative, right? Same fucking shit in the beginning of the season, when Shannon spilled the beans to Gemily about (seems like light years ago right) Nicole and the tittie law suit that never was. How this “hurt her family” I really need to have explained to me. So Heather DuBratt, if you’re reading this, (I’m sure she’s not) feel free to answer in the comments.
Maybe someone will ask this at the reunion. Bitch, no one is ‘hurting’ your fucking spoiled brat kids. They probably thought it was funny! Unlike you, they seem to have a sense of humor! I also want to add that the two oldest respect you as their mom, but seem to know you’re an asshole and merely displaying your terrible acting abilities. I want to gently remind my readers about the several servers and restaurant workers in the OC tweeting about how she treats wait staff rudely, waves them off, and has a list of DEMANDS as soon as she is sighted in the restaurant. GROSS.
It’s annoying me that Shannon is being friendly with Gemily. She should be sitting there with Noella. One does need back-up with this vindictive see you next Tuesday. But it does prove my point that Shannon is a cool Housewife and woman that seriously just wants to be friends with everyone, and have chicks to drink and party with. Even bitches that are treating her like shit and gas lighting the shit out of her.
Oh yeah, that’s what this is about, the tittie law suit fight and her “allegedly” putting her hands on a camera dude. Heather continues to deny it. There is discrepancy in Noella’s story about this occurrence, since sometimes she says that she “saw it” and sometimes she says that she “heard it.”
She asks her if she put her hands on the camera man. This fires Heather up. But, Noella does lose credibility of course. So curious to know what did actually happen. Heather was a loose cannon that night over that ridiculousness. Mostly overreacting for the cameras, any reasonably intelligent person should have been able to see.
I cannot stand Gina’s voice. Please make this woman child go away. Did she always talk in this weird and nasley, and in this mid 2000’s cadence?? Does she know it’s not mid 2000’s. Does she know she’s not 16 years old? Sure some of the fashion is back, but this twang is NOT !! Stop trying to make it happen!
Noella tells Heather that she followed her down the stairs. And with THAT, Heather feels busted, and jumps up and is “done with this” That reaction does make me feel like she really did. Shouldn’t there be footage of this ? I wonder if this comes out at the reunion? Probably not, I feel like Bravo would try to protect her, and not Noella.
Here we go “I’m a grown-ass woman with a beautiful life and you are a liar and thirsty girl, I’m done” Noella is like “byeeeeeee.” Heather storms off.
So where IN the hell did Jen come from? She, like, suddenly appears, and is following Heather like a lost little puppy. Seriously. I have deemed Gemily as Thing 1 and Thing 2. Jen might seriously have to be Thing 3, or even take Thing 1 honors.
She even stands directly behind her like her fucking body guard when Heather sits down at the bar ! Hilarious !! What is wrong with this woman??
Gina no brain whatsoever Kirchwhatever (I wonder if she and Theresa would get along, ya know, since they’re both from ‘Jersey’) The combined brain cells between those two would be like four, I think. She continues to shovel chicken salad into her face and talks in her yap about the chicken salad being the only thing she can talk about at this point.
We know, Gina. Your abilities to make intelligent sounding remarks, are very very limited. Even without excessive alcohol and altitude. Just sit there and eat your chicken, and pretend to be Shannon’s friend, so you can catch her off guard, and start gas lighting again!! News flash: Viewers are a lot smarter than you, and are catching on !!
They go to bed. Super! “Good night Grandpa! Good night Mary Ellen.”
Next morning– Gina calls Travis sounding like she’s in high school as usual, bragging about having a chef, and ‘help’ in ear shot of ‘the help.’ They go to the ‘help’s’ faces and they look like they want to stab her. Get in line, most of the viewers want to stab her too. Just kidding. Violence is never the answer. Not even with Gina.
Archery seems to be on itinerary today. Noella is not going archerying with them. She has requested a bloody Mary from the staff, and Gina ridicules her, since that’s what high school girls do. And not to be outdone by VaGina in the ridiculing department, Big Emily ridicules Shannon in her yap about her “neurotic hands.”
Whatever that means.
Noella calls her friend, and recounts the passive aggressive and Mean Girl comments that Heather made to her. Back and forth thing, and Heather is discussing Noella with Gemily, and calls her a – wait for it – a prevaricator. Gina is like wtf is that ?? Of course she knows Gina has a very limited vocab. Why wouldn’t she just say ‘liar?’ Heather is such a fucking pretentious pompous ass. She loves using these weird words that NO ONE uses, and getting asked to define them. Think she has a tiny orgasm over this, since Terry sure as hell isn’t giving them to her.
Noella is crying to her friend about Heather saying to her the previous night “your karma is giving you what you deserve.” She tells her friend that they’re all afraid of her, and she sees straight through her so “she must be anniliated” well ummmm that’s kind of a fair statement.
Gina’s contribution to the breakfast conversations is “these egg bites are like, sooooo good… Like Oh My God !!!
Shannon emerges in full archery garb. Love how Shannon is always theming it out !! They discuss how Noella will not be attending on the group activity, and since Jen is now The Cat in the Hat Heather’s Third ‘ Thing,’ she says, “let’s go before she changes her mind” She does have an original thought (sort of) that she didn’t repeat after Heather! But it is something Heather would say.
Gina in her yap about Noella “ you say you want to be part of the group, but the group is going on an activity and you don’t want to be with the group” Sorry folks, I would rather hear Jen repeat after Heather ALL DAY LONG, then listen to Nasal Head Valley Girl Talking VaGina. By the way, she echoes everything that Heather DuBratt says too. So Big Emily should acknowledge that before she gets overly excited making fun of Jen.
“She just repeats everything Heather says” As does Gina, just not as glaringly obvious.
Noella emerges and walks down to a stream, and is having a much-needed sort of ‘moment.’
Archery event is going down. There are some breathing exercises first of course. Makes perfect sense. I wanna do this.
That seems over before it started. They discuss the rest of the day’s activities.
There is hiking and cave exploring.
I seriously hate Gemily, always being Gemily. They gossip on the way back to the house about not being
Noella’s “therapist” and whatever. Gina forgets what an emotional wreck and DRAG, that SHE was to be around, when her ex-husband beat the shit out of her, then was going through a messy divorce, topped off with a DUI. But whatever VaGina, short memory. Not surprised.
Emily can’t handle the steps up to the house. Gina is literally dragging her on the floor.
‘Archery made me hungry’ okay Emily, I’ll reserve comment. Gemily and Noella are on their way to the cave experience, and Gemily just blatantly ignores her and it’s really awkward.
Gina comments about her shock of the underground mine/cave being “dark” Does this chick ever have to like, Oh I don’t know, THINK, or use her brain fucking ever ??
Shannon Jen and Heather are going on a hike.
Jen DOES parrot everything that Heather says. “Be careful, Be careful!” “I’m happy!” “I’m happy too!!” I feel like Heather is realizing it, and of course, she just eats it up. She lives for this shit. She has Gemily, and now Jen, eating out of her fucking hand. Too bad she doesn’t realize how Heather manipulated and controlled that dinner party, to make sure Jen drank too much, and made a fool out of herself. Yes Jen drank what she drank, no one poured it down her throat, but Heather also went to great lengths to make sure it happened. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.
Shannon says that she’s conflicted, and for whatever reason, decides to confide in Heather about Emily being a big fat fuck face, and “stirring the pot.”
Immediately Heather in her stupid pink beanie, is smirking, and looking smug, and formulating a plan of what to do with this info to embarrass Shannon.
“How does she stir it up though?” says Jen (and might I add, she did that one all by herself.) Heather acknowledges in her yap that Emily is “TOTALLY a shit stirrer’ however, it’s okay since it’s someone that caresses your asshole on the daily. And Heather lovvvvvvvvves the caressing.
Heather in her yap “Some people will call her a shit stirrer, or is she just a “truth teller?” Hmm guys lets break that comment down, shall we? Yes, we shall.
Wasn’t Shannon accused of being a “pot stirrer” for talking about Scary Looking Terry, and Nicole’s unhappy titties?? Remember that? Wasn’t that the truth? Nicole really did sue Terry. Yes it was dropped when she realized she could never win, but it’s not like the entire story was fabricated and false. Like Emily’s is, with this jealousy rhetoric that they can’t seem to let go of.
Let’s revisit the repercussions the law suit story getting out (aka Shannon shit stirring, starting trouble , etc etc ) Party abruptly canceled, guests told to leave, Shannon scolded like a 4YO, ordered to halt filming at once, “alleged” slamming of a camera man, Terry and Heather storming down the hallway like the mafia, to confront Nicole… But HEATHER BAD FUCKING WEATHER, wasn’t Shannon just being a “truth teller?”
Heather: “OH MY GOD YOU’RE HURTING MY FAMILY!! (as usual – everyone is on a quest to fucking “hurt her family!” Because that is how important the DuBratts are !) HOW DARE YOU? APOLOGIZE TO MY GAY HUSBAND, AND STAT !!” She is Just. such. a fucking hypocrite. Does she not realize this ???
And how is Shannon’s supposed jealousy of Gina and Heather’s friendship, and Gina’s stupid face cream, automatically deemed as “the truth ? Because Gemily decided on it, as their story line and thing to talk about? So many things wrong with that.
They play the flash were Shannon was attempted to be gas lit in Mexico, by Emily telling her she wasn’t ‘being a good friend’ (to the people that back stabbed her over the Nicole thing) but it didn’t “take” that time. They did get her to apologize for doing NOTHING WRONG. But she didn’t bite on the getting upset and hysterical, so they they could then turn around and say “See I told you she was crazy!!! We just can’t be her friend!!”
The more I look at Heather’s face, I think she looks like a pig. Can she take that stupid pink beanie off at some point?? Someone must have told her it looked cute. It doesn’t . Maybe she’s getting paid to wear it. Is there a logo on it ???? I don’t know.
Gina is harassing the chef for some reason. You can tell she wants her to shut the fuck up and go shove her head in a toilet.
Noella is talking to Shannon about her day, but she doesn’t really seem to be present. You can tell she’s thinking about her talk with Big Emily. So she’s blowing off the actual friend that has her back during the you know what sessions, because she’s more worried about the non-friend that is one of the you-know-whatters. Shannon no.
Shannon makes the mistake of trying to talk to Big Emily like a normal person about her feelings and hurt over the way she has been treating her. Emily is basically smirking at her, as she starts talking about the negativity that she just doesn’t have the energy for. She right away brings up her “put a pin in it” responses to Gina yapping about her jealousy of her.
Emily says “I’m not always a perfect person.” Or, “I’m being a fucking nasty wench towards you, for sheer entertainment purposes, oh and money.” Kind of the same. Emily says to Shannon “I love you too and I mean that.” when Shannon tells her she enjoys their friendship and having fun with her. Mmkay Big Emily, I would hate to see how you treat someone you don’t “love.” Fuck’s sake. Fake.
This is all, of course propaganda mind fuckery, that everything is hunky dory (sorry guys, couldn’t resist) in order to throw her off, for when they have their next attack devised.
“None of us intend to hurt anyone else.” Emily’s face looks somewhat guilty (somewhat) like she is thinking – ‘well we kind of ARE trying to hurt you.’ In her yap, she says that “being friends with Shannon isn’t as easy as Gina or her other friends.” Well yeah Big Emily, (and I will continue to call her that as long as she is acting this way. or loses weight. Some people on Twitter didn’t like it, and I don’t care) It gets a little complicated and time consuming when you’re just PRETENDING to be friends with someone, but really you’re just interested in tormenting her for fun. You know what I hate about this? Is that she actually thinks the viewers are fooled and buying this. She goes on with a bunch of other lies to Shannon pretending like she’s taking her seriously and give a shit. I think she kind of slips when she says she doesn’t want to “back stab.” Yeah, bitch, NORMAL people don’t back stab their fucking friends, ass!!
Does Shannon, seriously at this point, really believe she hasn’t been targeted since Day 1, by Gemily, to make their ‘story line’ bringing down Shannon? Shannon needs to wise the hell up. She’s smarter than this. Whatever. They’re trying on their bear costumes to scare the ladies later.
Noella calls her mom from the outside jacuzzi. She tells her about the email finalizing her divorce.
Is Noella wearing one of those “breast plates” like Meredith was on SLC?
Heather is still wearing that stupid beanie, as she’s smirking as they’re all talking about Shannon.
Cat and the Hat and her two “Things” are in bed and Emily updates them on her convo with Shannon. VaGina immediately in her yap “Shannon is incapable of understanding her perspective” What perspective VaGina?? that you walk around spouting off senseless attacks and insults like “you’re so jealous of me you can’t stand it !” “You don’t have any friends!” “If you think I’m being arrogant than that’s YOUR problem!” what exactly is Shannon supposed to “see?” My God girl.
“Shannon just has something more personalllllll against meeeeeeeee” is her final yap comment, and this chick literally has no self awareness whatsoever.
She says to the ladies that Shannon needs to ‘take accountability for her part.’ She is making no sense and really believes the viewers are on her side. She has to be, at this point, caught on that she has lost a lot of her fan base this season. Fans I think used to find her funny and relatable. I hope she’s seeing all of the feedback on social media. From the comments that I see on Twitter and the FB chat groups, I would say, my estimation is 1 or 2 out of every 10 is siding with Gina, Emily and Heather. Bravo needs to really look at this. There’s also a lot of pointing out that we don’t “love to hate them” We just hate them. In reality TV that is a big difference.
Gina was yammering on more hot air white noise nonsense, as if we don’t see that she is the cause of the problems with Shannon, and that she is doing it purposely, because she thinks she’s imitating Tamra.
They’re getting ready for dinner to be served to them, and getting treated to live music. (this is a rough life right?) Gina asks Noella what is going on with her divorce, and she fakes to be concerned about it. She says in her yap, “the best part is that she’s going to shut the fuck up about it.”
Kinda like we were happy when you shut the fuck up about Matt cheating on you, and beating the fucking shit out of you. That sounds harsh, but Christ, she’s so fucking cruel. That is sad when you’re going through a divorce, and it’s done and the papers are being signed. It’s called bitter fucking sweet VaGina. You’re relieved it’s finally over, but this is someone you shared a life and children with for X amount of years. You would think this bitch would understand and offer a shred of empathy. No not zero depth Regina George. She makes Regina George look like Mother Theresa for chrissakes.
Shannon and Emily depart to change into their bear costumes, complete with sound effects. They run out onto the patio and the other three are not really scared. Do these costumes even look like bears?
Whatever, it lightened the mood somewhat. The band plays a catchy tune and they are all dancing. Heather seems miffed that everyone is getting along (for two minutes) and ignoring her. She’s mad that Shannon and Emily are being chummy.
Well, I was right, that was short-lived. Gina is fucking plastered. After a brief fun moment with Noella, Noella sees that she’s drunk as a skunk, and is outta there. Gina can’t even breath as she’s trying to dance. She says in her yap, she sees what’s coming, due to past behavior. She’s right, because when Noella exits, Gina starts stumbling around and mocking Noella, and Emily starts ridiculing Shannon, making jokes about Shannon saying Gina was arrogant. So much for Emily’s little talk with Shannon right? And how much she “loves” her?? They wonder why they’re getting no respect on SM. The band is packing up and looking at them like they’re retarded, and so happy to be out of there.
Why are they playing a “game” at dinner? How old are we? What in the bloody hell do these Housewives have against just like, sitting, talking like normal people, and EATING? This food looks fucking divine, but ya know whatever, we have to play a “game” which will of course result in an argument.
And here we go, Noella says she was in a Will Smith video when she was a teenager. Gina starts talking about her friend “Tatiana” who Noella has no idea who she is talking about, and Gina goes ballistic because she met her and was talking to her at Jen’s brain scan thing ? Right away, though, Noella says “oh yeah she was amazing!” So I don’t get the uproar? This woman, I have a feeling is auditioning to be a Housewife. Can she replace Gina, please???
Anyway, Gina drunkenly explains that “you need to know who she is because she’s an important person in my life…” Everyone is confused because they’re not really listening. She starts calling her “Taut” and everyone is further confused. They all start discussing the shortened version of their names, hoping to change the subject perhaps, and Gina becomes even more agitated at this.
Say what you want about Noella, but she called this shit. She tells Gina “it’s not that deep” Noella tells her she’s looking for shit and Gina says she’s protective of it (her shit? I guess) Good Gina, great idea, head to the bathroom and be protective of your shit.
Now it’s Shannon’s turn, and she tells her “You should know more than you knowwwwwwwww” which makes no sense but Gina is fucking hammered. Dumbass should AT least be a fun drunk, since she’s a shitty sober person. Gina is blacked out, and I feel like I would enjoy this more and have a better understanding, if I also, were black out drunk. Like you need to be to deal with this freak. I don’t want to hear one more damned word about Noella, after this shit. Not one fucking word people.
Gina leaves the table and Heather gets up and follows her. Emily says in her yap, VaGina is overreacting but gives her a pass that there’s a ‘deeper root to it’ or some ridiculous fucking assinine shit. No Big Emily, she’s literally black out drunk and being ten times worse than her normal horrific personality. She continues to still have a glass of wine in her hand she’s flailing all over the place, and can barely stand.
Shannon talks to Noella who is crying and upset. Oh my God – did they eat this fucking food? No wonder they get so drunk. They never fucking eat.
Gina continues to argue about her fucking friends. Why is no one taking this bitch to bed, or knocking a fucking a brick over head ? Either one. Emily sits and humors her some reason. Can you imagine if this was Shannon or Noella freaking out over her friends’ names that no one knew? Heather would be going NUTS and ring leading the others into being pissed off too. But it’s Gina, who ruined the dinner, and acting foolish, so it’s okay.
Noella has a melt down off to the side and Shannon is comforting her. VaGina slurs that “she’s gotta stop supporting her. Why does Shannon keep supporting her??“
Who is the one making a total complete ass out of herself right now?? Shannon reminds her that Noella’s father died and Gina says “shit happens.” I hate to point out to any Gina fans out there, if there are any, but ya know they say, your true colors come out when you’re drunk.
Sometimes you make confessions you wouldn’t normally make, or if you are angry with someone, that you’ve been suppressing, you might cut loose on them. But Gina is literally just making the most asshole and disgusting type commentary in her drunken stooper. Shannon tries to tell her she is being nice to a woman having a hard time. What I don’t get is why she is feeling the need to explain this to a drunk ass Gina. Shannon owes her no explanations for being a compassionate human. Even in her yap, where I assume she’s sober, she defends her drunken horrific behavior . Shannon reminds her of her ‘dark time’ and Gina yaps more nonsense in her yap about Shannon.
She says “I’m done” and walks away and slurs it’s a joke it’s a joke!! Yeah VaGina you’re right – it IS a joke, and you’re the fucking joke !!
The chef assistant is chuckling and finding this all rather humorous.
Why do they all have their coats on inside the house?
Thank God next week is the finale. Gina will be gas lighting Shannon. She was too drunk to do it properly this week.
This was long, but remember I didn’t really do a recap last week.
