Summer seems a little old to have to be rocked to sleep with a bottle for a nap. That’s my little piece of unsolicited judgy commentary right off the bat. You do that with infants not toddlers. That’s a very firstborn thing to do, I guess. If she has another one, which I really can’t picture happening, it’ll be thrown in the crib and told to shut up and go to sleep.
Schwartz is dressed like Big Bird. I wish Sandoval had on the Elmo shirt. We’re doing our token boutique shopping, where a baseball cap is $500, before a trip. Because, you know, these two dudes have ‘absolutely nothing to wear’ to go to Lake Tahoe.
I have to say, Graham did seem happy to see James. I spilled some tea in my last week’s recap that Raquel had shared that James could be kind of skitzy around him, which I believe may have lead to his aggressive behavior. I did a quick look-up and golden doodles don’t normally bite, so something had to be going on that had him agitated.
James claims that he was always the one taking care of Graham. I doubt that is true, as he seems desperate to make Raquel look bad in order to make himself appear together. That’s what insecure people do.
I’m honestly not sure if someone literally pooped on the patio at ‘Something About Her’ or if that was said figuratively.
I can’t see these two running a restaurant. I just can’t. The idea is really cute, and I think they have found a hole in the market, but do they really have the passion and the energy to see this through? I think no.
They’re whining how they “really wanted to be open by the end of the month…” Jesus this is like Schwartz and Sandy’s 2.0.
******
James brings Graham home with Ally supposedly completely unsuspecting.
Mr. Banks is NOT happy.
Ally is also not happy. She threatens Graham will be returned to Lisa if he doesn’t behave.
Graham has to throw his big dick mini-golden doodle energy around, and snaps at Mr. Banks.
******
Was it really a headline that Raquel wants to be now known as Rachel? Sandoval continues to piss and moan that Raquel/Rachel has shut him out. This dude just does not get it. Is he still whining about his fucking birthday?
“I think she’s purposely not talking to me.” Oh YA THINK???
Sandoval inspects a pocket knife and hatchet. Please, step away from the weapons.
Now Scheana does the pre-trip boutique shopping. She can now afford a $2000 bathing suit, thanks to Sandoval banging Raquel for six months behind Ariana’s back.
She and Brick Brock argue in the bougee bathing suit boutique about child care for Summer.
What is this whole thing with Scheana and not wanting to leave her with anyone except her mom? You can’t have your mom living with you for the rest of your life. And the fact that Scheana pays her mom to be her ‘nanny’ is so weird.
And why do they keep saying ‘nanny.’ It sounds like she’s just looking for a babysitter.
Brock is right, they need someone who is dependable and professional. Not her friend, her sister, her mom…
I can’t help but think her ‘trust issues/OCD’ is a bunch of bullshit. Imagine that. I must be onto something here.
Scheana is worried about arguing in a store, where there is exactly one girl present, however not in front of a million people on Bravo.
We don’t know whether or not she bought a bathing suit.
******
Graham is living the baller life, and already traveling to Tahoe via PJ with LVP.
******
What is with these wolf pictures with Lisa for her new restaurant?? I guess they’re cute – and odd. But cute. It’s Lisa.
I guess this one is going to be more masculine-ish, without tacky fake flowers everywhere, I assume. Hopefully.
******
“To get a hello by people that are disgusted by your very essence…”
Wow Schwartz, way to make him feel better.
Then he cries in his yap, in his Gumby blazer wiping his face, showcasing his blue nails…
I have no words.
This rental house is sick of course.
Why is BlaBla acting human?? It’s getting on my nerves. It’s throwing me off. I know she’s pretending, but it’s still throwing me off.
Brock is wearing a hot pink leopard banana hammock. I’m wondering what exactly this hammock is supposed to be cradling. If you get my drift.
Something tells me he washed his clothes with a pink sweater on purpose.
Someone taught Sandoval the phrase ‘malicious intent.’ He’s thanking everyone for being nice to him, and brags about his temporary ‘sobriety.’ So stupid.
BlaBla is impressed that he’s ‘working on himself.’
Thank God Graham shows up to put an end to this strain.
Okay so pay attention here. James wants to change his name to ‘Hippie’ as a homage to George Michael’s, his late godfather’s dog, Hippie.
I think with all of the other changes and various homes he’s been at, probably with other various names, that they should keep his name the same.
******
Back in LA, Ariana pretends it’s ‘the furniture’ that is also a component as to why she won’t agree to let Tom buy her out, so she can leave the fucking house.
Maybe if she stops acting four, and communicates with him like an adult, they could sit and divvy things up.
Or, come up with an estimated dollar amount that she wants for the furniture that stays in the house, and then she can buy new fucking furniture. She has some designer chick on the phone, that reassures her that everything is ‘custom.’
Oh, and we’re reworking the Lego picture to cut out Tom. Riveting.
******
Brock apologizes to Scheana for being a dick in the bathing suit store. Imagine that. A dude that recognizes his bad behavior and promptly apologizes. And without an agenda. And not just because he’s pissed, for the time being, at the ugly whore he’s banging
Having said that, I sort of feel like Scheana has had the shits of this dude already.
BlaBla is working some serious OT at kissing LVP ass. They go to where Lisa is opening this new ‘Wolf’ restaurant.
Fake sincere BlaBla voice: “I’ve never seen one of your restaurants from the time that it looks like this.”
Message To BlaBla: I’ve NEVER heard this sappy high-pitched tone of voice like this!
She’s dressed like the dude in Boogie Nights. Sandoval is dressed like Woody.
We’re doing some axing the wall exercise, and sharing something that they’re frustrated about.
Sandoval’s tryin’ to be tough guy and can’t even get the ax out of the wall.
This dude just makes it too easy to make fun of him. He delivers various gripes how fucking around with Raquel for six months, has affected HIS life negatively.
They go to dinner and there is immediate awkwardness.
Sheana is right, these two ding dongs cannot fully actually move on, until they are not living in the same house.
Ariana is being stubborn for a show talking point, and because she still wants to be around him.
Funny she didn’t move from the couch for months, before the scandal broke, but now she has the energy to walk from room to room, analyzing the origin of all of the furniture and fixtures.
Her mental health actually seems to be fine now, however she used that as an excuse for checking out of the relationship.
I’m just making some points. None of this means I’m taking Sandoval’s side. It’s just that someone that truly is devistated, and wants to move on with their life, isn’t worried about a light fixture.
******
Sandoval again tries to talk with James, and it does go a little better this time. James points out if he was that unhappy, and wanted to be with Raquel, he needed to man up, tell Ariana, and leave.
Yeah, not keep having this tawdry fucking affair with her friend. It’s disgusting.
As for James, he’s simply just jealous because he still has a thing for Rachel/Raquel. He wants to know if they’re still together. That’s all he really cares about. He tries to ask as if it’s like an after thought.
They hug it out. Thank God. I’m kidding. I don’t care.
